I’ve had a number of different diagnoses through the years, starting at age 13. We started with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) mixed with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and it just seemed to keep progressing for more than a decade. I withdrew from friends and family and started making some very risky choices and I thank the heavens that I (and others) always ended up safe.

In my early 20’s things got really weird. I had a forced abortion at 15 that I never quite recovered from or even had a chance to grieve. It’s definitely something that deserves a full post but I’ll leave it now by saying that I had a towel shoved in my mouth and I was still heard in the lobby screaming.

My behavior just got more and more risky; drinking and driving, being promiscuous, spending money I didn’t have, to the point I couldn’t afford to live on my own and had to crash at my parents. Eventually I improved a good bit and moved on to marry husband #2 without realizing I most definitely had Borderline Personality Disorder as well. I could no longer work, keep house, and I, boo-hooing, had to ask my Mom to please care for my son because I couldn’t even care for myself.

I spent my empty days drinking my pain away. So every day. To a blackout.

You’ll hear all about my adventures but I wanted to list the most recent DSM (how psychs diagnose) for BP1 and BPD. If you feel like you may resonate, it may be time for an appointment to be made.

Hallmark Traits of Bipolar Type 1 According to the DSM-5:

A. A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood and abnormally and persistently goal-directed behavior or energy, lasting at least 1 week and present most of the day, nearly every day (or any duration if hospitalization is necessary).

B. During the period of mood disturbance and increased energy or activity, three (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted (four if the mood is only irritable) are present to a significant degree and represent a noticeable change from usual behavior:
1. Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
2. Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
3. More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
4. Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
5. Distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli), as reported or observed.
6. Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
7. Excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments).

C. The mood disturbance is sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in social or occupational functioning or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features.

D. The episode is not attributable to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication, or other treatment) or another medical condition.

Note: A full manic episode that emerges during antidepressant treatment (e.g., medication, electroconvulsive therapy) but persists at fully syndromal level beyond the physiological effect of that treatment is sufficient evidence for a manic episode and therefore a bipolar I diagnosis.

Borderline Personality Disorder DSM-5
(And what does “Borderline” mean and why is a “personality disorder” different than a “non-personality disorder”.)

The term “borderline” was first described by the psychoanalyst Adolf Stern in 1938.14 He used it to refer to a group of patients whose conditions worsened during therapy and who showed masochistic behaviour and psychic rigidity, indicating a protective mechanism against any perceived changes in the environment or within the individual. The term was later expanded in the late 1960s and 1970s by Otto Kernberg;15 this diagnosis was used in empirical studies conducted by Grinker and Werble.16 Gunderson and Singer reviewed the literature and listed several features that identify borderline personality disorder,17and a diagnostic interview based on these features was later developed by Gunderson and colleagues.18 The diagnosis was included in the DSM-III12 and was slightly revised in the DSM-IV,13 with the addition of a ninth criterion for cognitive symptoms, but both sets of criteria were based primarily on clinical experience and the work of Gunderson and Singer.17 The definition in the DSM-IV-TR is unchanged,11 although important modifications have been proposed for DSM-5.19 In particular, the diagnostic system for personality disorders will become a hybrid model, with both categorical diagnoses, including borderline personality disorder, and a dimensional system based on personality traits. The proposed categorical diagnosis of borderline personality disorder includes traits and symptoms that are generally similar to those in previous versions of the DSM.

Diagnostic criteria of borderline personality disorder*

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by 5 (or more) of the following:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in criterion 5.
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in criterion 5.
5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

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With the right medications and some holistic rememdies I can usually keep it under control. But, there are some nights like last night where I just knew I was manic and sleep wasn’t in the cards. Unfortunately my circadian rhythem and the times I takes my meds HAS to be around the same times to keep me as regulated as possible. That and being SOBER!!!!!

If you have questions, please, ask away. I’d like people to be informed instead of just drawing their own conclusions.

Hope you all have a wonderful Humpday,

-Mike